KRUCHORO PSYCHOLOGY RESEARCH

Explain PSYCHOLOGY study

On the contrary, it hurts the child! Psychological reasons why parents should not be patient

f:id:kruchoro:20200921021735j:plain 

 

Why You Shouldn't Be Patient

 

Being a parent can be a lot of work, but that doesn't mean you have to be patient. In fact, it is okay for parents to be more honest with their children.

 

There is no need for mothers and fathers to force themselves to be cheerful or strong in front of their children, but it is okay to show them clearly when they are in pain. In fact, if you don't, you may end up hurting your child.

 

In fact, it has been shown that trying to act tough in front of your children, thinking that you are a parent and need to be strong, even though you are actually tired, can actually have a negative impact on their psychology.

 

Forcing yourself to endure painful things is not only harmful to your own mental health, but also to the mental health of your children.

 

Parents' lies will always be exposed to their children

 

For example, if you are a parent with children and you feel tired or have negative emotions when they are around, you don't have to hide those feelings and act cheerful as if nothing happened; it's better to be honest with your children and tell them.

 

The psychological reason why honesty is beneficial for both parents and children is because we cannot hide our negative feelings anyway.


The reason why psychology is so positive for both parents and children is because we cannot hide our negative emotions anyway.

 

And children, who are the closest to you and have the greatest interest in you, are sensitive to these changes.

 

For this reason, there is no need to be overbearing just because you are a parent, or just because you are in front of your children. Talking about your true feelings is one of the most important forms of communication between parents and children.

 

When parents suppress stress, children feel stressed

 

Dr. Sarah Waters of Washington State University, Vancouver, USA, surveyed 109 mothers and fathers about their interactions with their children after a stressful event had happened to them.

 

Parents are asked to play with their children with Lego blocks after the worst part of the stressful event, which is giving a speech in front of a group of people and then being criticized for the speech.

 

Some parents were instructed to suppress their emotions while others were instructed to be more spontaneous.

 

The parents who forced themselves to suppress their stress tended to be less active in Lego play and less willing to interact with their children.

 

The children also reacted badly to the parents' behavior, and were unable to act positively toward them.

 

Parental stress is contagious to children 

 

As a result of the negative feelings being transmitted from the parents to the children, the parent-child relationship between the two became cold, just like a virus being transmitted.


In other words, when parents try to hide their negative emotions in front of their children for the sake of their children, ironically, the relationship between parents and children deteriorates.


I've talked about this emotional infection before, but it happens not only between close friends, but also between parents and children.

 

For example, if you are a parent with children and you feel tired or have negative emotions when they are around, you don't have to hide those feelings and act cheerful as if nothing happened; it's better to be honest with your children and tell them.

 

The psychological reason why honesty is beneficial for both parents and children is because we cannot hide our negative feelings anyway.

 

The reason why psychology is so positive for both parents and children is because we cannot hide our negative emotions anyway.

 

And children, who are the closest to you and have the greatest interest in you, are sensitive to these changes.

 

For this reason, there is no need to be overbearing just because you are a parent, or just because you are in front of your children. Talking about your true feelings is one of the most important forms of communication between parents and children.

 

When parents suppress stress, children feel stressed

 

Dr. Sarah Waters of Washington State University, Vancouver, USA, surveyed 109 mothers and fathers about their interactions with their children after a stressful event had happened to them.

Parents are asked to play with their children with Lego blocks after the worst part of the stressful event, which is making a speech in front of a group of people and then being criticized for it.

 

Some parents were instructed to suppress their emotions while others were instructed to be more spontaneous.

 

The parents who forced themselves to suppress their stress tended to be less active in Lego play and less willing to interact with their children.

The children also reacted badly to the parents' behavior, and were unable to act positively toward them.

 

Parental stress is contagious to children 

 

As a result of the negative feelings being transmitted from the parents to the children, the parent-child relationship between the two became cold, just like a virus being transmitted.

 

In other words, when parents try to hide their negative emotions in front of their children for the sake of their children, ironically, the relationship between parents and children deteriorates.

 

I've talked about this emotional infection before, but it happens not only between close friends, but also between parents and children.

 

Children are more sensitive to their mother's feelings than their father's

The children were also more sensitive to their mothers' patience than their fathers.

 

The reason for this difference between men and women is not clear, but Dr. Waters believes that fathers, as men, tend to keep their emotions in check and therefore have less of an effect on their children.

 

Men, because of their social position, are less likely to show their emotions clearly, so even if they deliberately hide their emotions when they are in a bad mood, the children themselves are used to it and don't mind.

 

Fathers are usually very blunt, so even if they see their fathers in a depressed mood, the children just think, "Well, fathers always look like this, don't they? It's a sad story in a way.

 

However, women usually express their emotions more clearly than men, so if you are holding back on something painful, your children will soon find out how you feel and it will make them feel uncomfortable. Women are more expressive in their emotions, and this means that children are more sensitive to changes in their mothers' emotions.

 

The right action for depressed parents to take

 

So what should parents do with their children when they are experiencing stress and negative emotions?

 

Dr. Waters advises parents to be open and honest with their children about their feelings in a healthy way.

 

It is better for parents to communicate with their children by showing them their honest emotions from the beginning, because if parents hide their negative feelings, the children will find out anyway, and when they do, the impact will be great.

 

Other psychological studies have also shown the importance of being honest with your children. The longer and deeper the relationship with the other person, the better we are able to maintain our relationship by being honest with each other and sharing our problems and worries, rather than avoiding them with superficial disguises.

 

This advice is not only for parents and children, but also for couples and spouses.

 

Why children hate it when you put up with them

 

Children can sense even the most subtle changes in their parents' emotions. They intuitively sense when something negative is happening to them without saying a word.

 

However, when parents try to act as usual without telling their children about it, the children get confused when their parents' emotions do not match their actions. "Why are you lying to me? The child's mind is full of questions. The child's mind is full of "Why are you lying?

 

The contradiction between the parent's apparent emotions and the actual behavior makes it difficult for the child to understand. If they don't understand the situation, they don't know how to deal with it, so they start to distance themselves from their parents.

 

Because of this confusion, the stress that the parents feel is contagious to the children who are with them, and the relationship between the parents and children deteriorates.

 

From the children's point of view, being with their parents makes them feel confused, so they try to stay away from them. They also lose faith in their parents who do not tell them the truth and hide things from them.

 

So, even if you are a parent, it is better to show your feelings properly in front of your children instead of trying to suppress them.


The right action for depressed parents to take

 

So what should parents do with their children when they are experiencing stress and negative emotions?

 

Dr. Waters advises parents to be open and honest with their children about their feelings in a healthy way.

 

It is better for parents to communicate with their children by showing them their honest emotions from the beginning, because if parents hide their negative feelings, the children will find out anyway, and when they do, the impact will be great.

 

Other psychological studies have also shown the importance of being honest with your children. The longer and deeper the relationship with the other person, the better we are able to maintain our relationship by being honest with each other and sharing our problems and worries, rather than avoiding them with superficial disguises.

 

This advice is not only for parents and children, but also for couples and spouses.

 
Why children hate it when you put up with them

Children can sense even the most subtle changes in their parents' emotions. They intuitively sense when something negative is happening to them without saying a word.

 

However, when parents try to act as usual without telling their children about it, the children get confused when their parents' emotions do not match their actions. "Why are you lying to me? The child's mind is full of questions. The child's mind is full of "Why are you lying?

 

The contradiction between the parent's apparent emotions and the actual behavior makes it difficult for the child to understand. If they don't understand the situation, they don't know how to deal with it, so they start to distance themselves from their parents.

 

Because of this confusion, the stress that the parents feel is contagious to the children who are with them, and the relationship between the parents and children deteriorates.

 

From the children's point of view, being with their parents makes them feel confused, so they try to stay away from them. They also lose faith in their parents who do not tell them the truth and hide things from them.

 

So, even if you are a parent, it is better to show your feelings properly in front of your children instead of trying to suppress them.


The key is to explain things carefully.

 

However, it is important to be honest with them and not just blurt out your anger or sadness to them.

 

The key is to explain and show them the whole story, from the beginning to the end of the event that caused the negative feelings, in a way that they can understand.

 

For example, "I got tired because of what happened," "I got sad because of what happened," "I lost my energy after what happened," and so on.

 

In addition, showing them the process of solving the problems that caused the negative emotions is also a good way to educate them.

 

Children learn how to regulate their own emotions and solve problems when they see the process of their parents solving negative emotions on their own.

 

In this way, children will understand that problems can be solved.

 

By learning how to solve specific problems, they will gain the wisdom and confidence to live, thinking, "I can do this in such and such a situation," or "Even if I make such and such a mistake, I can manage to solve the problem by myself if I work hard like this

 

Reconsider failure as a time to grow together

 

It's okay for parents to be angry. Parents are not saintly monarchs, but human beings just like their children.

 

However, it is important to talk to your children about how to deal with their emotions instead of just being angry.

 

If we don't, our children will become hopeless and apathetic when they face the same problems and worries.

 

So, even if you are feeling down or frustrated, you can always say, "I failed this time, but I will learn and do better next time! Let's show our children that they can learn and grow even from their mistakes.

 

If you are angry, sad, tired, or frustrated, you can communicate those negative emotions honestly before spending time with your child, and turn it into a time for you and your child to grow together.

 

There is no need to force yourself to hide your emotions, even if they are negative. When you are in pain, be honest with your child in your own way.

 

Parents' feelings are conveyed to their children, and mothers convey them better than fathers.
Even if parents hide their negative feelings, children are sensitive to them.
Children feel confused and stressed when parents try to hide their negative feelings.
It is better for parents to express their feelings honestly, even in front of their children.
When you are troubled, take it as an opportunity to grow with your child.